Falling aparts

The relationship between baobei and me began to fall aparts last night. I was on phone with her til around 11 when i ask her to stop what she is doing and to go to bed. But she keep dragging and dragging... Just to convert video for PSP or wad. So i scolded her for wasting resting time on this unnecessary stuff... Thats when we started to quarrel, and i am being lectured by her. Perhaps its my fault for shouting... She assumed that i vent my anger at her as my sister is not back and my mum is worried... But i was angry because she keep doing her things and never listen to my words... She started to compare again.. Then she pull everything to shoot me... I really dunno what to say...

This quarrel started to get serious when cheryl ask her to lower her volume... then she started to threaten to commit suicide. Whole family was alarmed and i have overheard the conversation what brenda told them. I guess this incident have costed my relationship with her family to turned sour... I sms-ed her to give her time to cool down.. and i tried to called her mum, but was being hanged up..

Tears started to fall and i couldn't get to sleep.. Is this the end? I have no face to face her family already.. or rather to say i'm now being condemned by her family now ba... 2 years and 23 months... All my fault....

Happy Birthday To Me

Nice chocolate bread

baobei, despite we have so many arguements... seeing the bread u made for me, i really appriciated it... Although u asked me to throw awy, i really dont bear to do it... I had it for lunch today and its really nice... Thank you for everything...

Things turned sour

The relationship btw me and baobei getting very sour. Maybe i'm not a good bf. A lot of things i really dun understand. My colleagues regardless whether they are married or attached, they have no problems maintaining their relationship even they always work overtime almost everyday, but i always got problems whenever i work overtime.
A lot of times are beyond my control, its not as if i enjoyed working overtime. I am tired also, i also hoped that i can go home early everyday and have dinner with my mum. I always scare i will neglect baobei, so i will meet her at least 3 days after work for dinner. Even sometime i might need to do OT, but i always finish my things fast and meet her for dinner. Now my group is really short of manpower, its hard to avoid doing OT. This is my career, i cannot just say that i cannot do OT everyday, then what is the point of recruiting me? I only hoped baobei can understand this point.
Baobei always said i neglect her, i dunno what is the meaning of neglecting her sometime. 1 week 7 days, i will meet her at least 5 days. Meet her near her house, but she always late. Call her phone also never pick up one. I already tried my best to give her all the care and concern. Last night went all the way to her house after my OT around 10.30pm, she still give me black face for telling her that i got to OT tml. Haiz... I dunno what i can do to satisfy her. I'm only a liar in her mind...

Currently feeling: Tiring and sian
Listening to:...........
Time: 12:11pm

it all a lie

10th july 2008, i came to relise that it is a dream and a lie after all. i have been a fool for 35 months. i trusted him so much, but again and again he lied to me, breaking his promises to me once again. last night i had plan to cook dinner for him as i see him not having his meal because he wan to save money. so on the next day, which is today, i woke up at 6am to get ready to go school as i meeting caroline for breakfast before we have our exam.Took my medicine and felt so sleepy and tired. Didn't went for extra lessonwhich is from 2pm to 6pm as i cannot take it. I have been coughing and LS non stop. so i went home.thought that i could rest but in the end i spent my time thinking of what to cook for him to eat and scare that i cooked this and he don't like it. In the end i decided to make something special for him. I decided to give baking a try. so me and da jie went to amk hub de ntuc to buy the things we need. by the time we got the things we need, it is already 7 plus going to 8pm le.i din't even have time to eat my dinner and medicine as i was so worry that i could not make it in time. end up finish baking at around 10.30pm. he called and we chat on the phone for a while as he took a taxi to my house to collect the bread. what really made mi angry and heart broken is that the first thing he tell mi or ask me for the whole day is not about my health or what. it that he tomorrow want to overtime cannot meet mi. he had totally forgotten that he had promise mi that we will go bowling on friday night. I got angry and when he came and take the bread i gave him black face. he took the ugly and hard like hell the bread home. i sms him tell him to throw it away and we quarrel, i cried in the toilet and while typing all this. he don't even care or know that i am crying.allhe know is he is tired lack of sleep and work work work everyday. this really make mi want to break up and get a someone better. sometime i really wish that i can have a bf who really understand how i feel and know what i really want. i just don't want to do everything all alone by myself. going home alone. walking down the road. heart broken and cry in bed till i fall a sleep. seriously very heart broken. i don't want to be a fool anymore.