first day of chinese new year.

today is the first day of the rat year. i woke up at 10am and get ready to go pai pai gong there to pai nian. our house is so lively.but with out cheryl, because she went to pray kay yong's mother. we reach pai pai gong there around 1 plus and saw that guy who i hate the most. went there for a while and we go to lao ma house le. there are alot of people over at lao ma house. everyone was asking mi where is bao bei. i reply sadly, telling them that he is at malaysia. i felt so left out. feeling so lonely every chinese new year. after that we went to my father side elder brother's house to pai nain. there is the place where my xiao gu gu( the big mouth) is there. when we reach there, i can't see her but can only hear her voice, so sharp and loud.we stay there about 1 hour plus and then went to er gu gu house. this year ah ma never call and rush us as she is too busy playing mahjong.we spent the whole night at er gu gu house. playing mahjong and cards. not bad luck. still can win $5 and i also brought daddy luck. he won around 68 dollars. should get commission for him then right, but he say is share with ah ma, then i think never mind lor. most angry thing is that my cousin never get me ang bao when she gave it to da jie and cheryl.she also don't how to find meh. me so big size sitting beside daddy cannot see meh. eyes cover with stamp ah! so angry. seeing cheryl stick so close to kay yong when he arrived. make mi feel sad and drepress. i miss bao bei so much. it is only de second day only and i cannot take it le.want him to come back to my side right away. but i know this couldn't be as he still in malaysia. i am thinking, if we get marry, how are we going to pai nian? my family is in singapore and his is at malaysia. cannot be asking mi to go malaysia pai nian to his family only and not pai nian to my family but also cannot ask him to pai nian to my family only and not his family right? feeling so confused, sad and left out. as da jie walter ah gan deborah weesing they all went to watch movie and did not call mi along. qutie pissed off and sad when da jie say that she never hear mi saying that i want to go when i already said so many time and so loud some more. don't know why i feel this way. maybe is because strawberry season is coming le (mood swing) or what. tomorrow is another day same as today. da jie going to her boss(james, banglow's boss) house during evening, xiao mei going watch movie with kay yong. leaving mi all alone again. so lonely. don't like this new year. got a feeling that this year won't be a smooth year.sian.