the 7th month of pregnancy.

times flies very fast.it has been 7 month le.baby is on his way coming to this world le.alot of things to buy and plan. mi and bao bei still thinking of name for baby. he is our little prince.we love him so much.baby this few month he become more and more active.he like to turn and kick.one little playful boy.but no matter how playful he is, he is still mi and bao bei fruit of love and our little prince. another 83 days he is coming le.feeling so excited.wonder are we ready to be parent. how will baobei react when he first see baby?will he be happy excited or what? they are my everything. i love them very much. muackz...

Brother's wedding.

Last sunday. Its my brother's wedding. Our wedding is just 4 months apart. So happy that i can go attend his wedding. Our family officially have one more new members. He held his wedding at Sime Darby Convention Centre in KL.

Time passed so fast. Thinking of the past. How last time we live together 20 years ago. Thinking back, i really miss those time that we all live together. However, i sincerely wish my kor and my sao sao happily forever.

Preparation....

Time flies and we been married for 3 months plus. We got a lot of preparation for baby arrival. Nearly all baby stuff have been ready. I need to personally buy baby's clothes at least 1 or 2 sets when he discharge from hospital. I actually thinking names for baby. A bit headaches. Cuz i wan my baby name to be unique. Probably tink a few names den ask baby when he is born, see which name he will respond to.

For the past few weeks i having term break as my exam finish. Tried my best to spend as much time for baobei. My sch term starting soon, gonna start mugging every night again. Ke lian de bao bei. FYP starting also. Lagi worst. I know baobei will support me de =)

I been trying to clear my IPPT for this year as well, so now undergoing IPT. So after this session cleared, at least for the rest of the year i dun need to worry anymore. Once baby come out, i can accompany him more. I dun wish for more, just hoped my dearest baby can be very very very healthy. Thats all i want.

Its a boy!!!

On 5th oct,monday. the day we go scan the gender of baby. baobei could not concentrate studying for his exam as he is too excited. we went for breakfast around our house then went home and prepare.everyone were calling us to check on baby gender. finally the doctor called my name. its my turn to scan.first the doctor scan for baby legs hand heart kindey lungs stomach eyes mouth and i ask doctor whether is a boy or girl. doctor say its a bit hard to tell as baby cover it slighty. but the doctor shake baby a little and ask baby to move baby leg and just nice, let us scan till his little bird bird. haha.. then doctor comfirm baby is a boy.baobei and i were so happy. we call mummy mother daddy ah ma da jie and gan ma to tell them the new. everyone are happy for us. i felt that since the time bao bei know that baby is a boy,he become more like a father. he react to my reaction very fast once i tell him that baby is kicking mi. he talk to baby more often.this whole week he is not working. he took mi our for breakfast lunch and dinner.this week is the most happy time through out my 5 month plus pregnancy even though he got to study. sitting beside him seeing him study i am very happy le. finally there is someone who can carry down baobei surname le.i going to give birth to as many as i can to carry on his family line. i love baobei and baby, got to start thinking of name for baby le.. haha...

feeling so excited..

Tomorrow 5th oct, the day we will kown whetherv baby is a boy or a girl.alot of people saying that baby is a boy as my stomach is sharp pointed one. i also have this feeling that baby is a boy. but doesn't matter. boy or girl is still my and bao bei's baby. our fruit of love. but i really hope to give birth to a baby boy for baobei so that there is at least someone to carry down his surname. i don't mind under going everything, the injection and check ups and pian all over again just for baobei.i want to tell baobei that if this baby is a boy. i won't stop at one baby only. we can try for another one. as long as we can afford to bring them up, i don't mind giving as many as up to 5 babies. as long as you and everyone happy can le. i scare tonight i can't sleep. too excited le. think baobei also have the same feeling.this few day baobei had been busy rushing his homework till he fall sick le. my poor bao bei. sick le still got to study for exam and work to earn money for mi and baby.

some thoughts.....

baobei have married me for 1 mth plus le... i believe she is getting used to our life. i kinda scare that she might dislike this new lifestyle she will be going thru. She is going to spent more than half of her life time with me and our family. She did well and i believe she will be doing better... She cooked dinner for us and i think its very nice, not becuz the food is ultimately delicious, but it tasted of love and caring of a future mother. I really appriciated for wad she is doing... I love you lao po.

the scare of my life

on the 4th of sep,when i was waiting for bus 133 to amk hub to meet da jie uncle and ah jo. i broaded the bus 133. the bus driver did not wait till i get a seat to sit down and he just drive off like this. casing mi to hit my tummy against the handle of the seat. my tummy was so painful at tt monent. then i tot it was ok. i told bao bei about it and baobei went to send SBS a feedback. the incharge call mi to checxk on mi in the late afternoon and got some infomation from mi to investigate the case and promise to get back to mi. today is already 9th of sep, and yet i get no new form them. last night 8th sep, i took bus 100 to serangoon to change bus home. when i was alighting from the bus i miss my step and fall off the bus as behind the china people rushing mi to alight. i fall and hurt my left kneel and right ankle. two woman help mi up and called bao bei. bao bei rush down and bring mi home. during midnight my stomach was so painfuul, so we went to kkh to see doc. we waited abt 2 hr to see doc. doc show bao bei baby. baby is fine. thank god baby is fine. but i am in pain. i felt very sorry to baobei casing him whole night never sleep and next day he got to go to work.baobei i really sorry to make u worry.

4 month le. times really flies.

on the 1st sep, baby is already 4 month big le. another 5 month he or she is coming out le. so excitied. but this few day i wonder what went wrong in me? mood swing or what, don't feel like eating anything at all, feeling tired easily. i can really feel baby turning or kicking real hard inside mi. i feel cramps at the hip and legs. so painful till one moring i was unable to wake up and make breakfast for baobei and his sis. but i still climb up in pain and make for him to eat. but his sis comment on alot of thing. which i am very unhappy with. but beacase she is my baobei sis i got to bear with it. i really hope that baby can be born healthly and grow up happly.i love my hubby and baby alot. they are my everything. i willing to give up everything including my life for them. muackz

the 1st month of wedding

today is the 1st month full month of wedding.i was wondering. why i suddenly feel so moody and don feel like doing anything. everyone got a job. but not me. try so applying so many job and none reply. got thing of giving up and stay at home study well and get good result. but i also scare that bao bei got to work extra hard.alot of thing wanted to do. but no one accompany mi to do.everyday lunch got to cook for myself. hate it so much. look for someone to accompany mi lunch also hard. i wonder wat am i doing and wat i can do. go out got to spent money stat home all alone.. i can feel that baobei really love mi and baby. everything he do is for mi and baby. i am so touch. but i see him working so hard. i feel very heart pain. bao bei i really love u.. happy 1st month wedding anniversary..

going one month of marriage..

first few month of marriage suppose to be wonderful and sweet. this doesn't apply to my wedding at all, i don't feel sweet and wonderful at all in fact i felt lonely and and like a bird which is lock in the cage. no where i can go but staying at home "RESTING" and doing all the housework. baobei and mother expect mi to do all housework and go no where but staying at home. i know they worry for mi but all i want is to be like last time. where i go no one control. i felt tt i am like a pet got to wait for baobei free then i get the chance to go out. baobei busy all day all time 24hr a day 7 days a week 4 week a month. all he do was to work come home accompany his mother and do his homework and then sleep. hardly ask mi what i have done the whole day and what i really want to do. he only knows how to accompany his family. ask him to go over to my side for the family together with mi. he always push away or find excuse not to go. since tt day we got marry till now he have not gone home with mi to see my family or spent time with my family. spenting time with my family is a waste of time to him. only spenting time with his family is not waste of time. i miss my family so much. but who will understand. not even the person who i call baobei knows. all he know is tt i marry over to his family and i cannot go back to my family and be with them. some time i really think this marry is not want i really want.we get marry cas i have a baby in mi we are force to get marry. how stupid i am to believe that i will feel happy when i get married.now i kown why so many people in singapore don want to get marry and tie down. cas marrying in to a family who husband only listen to his mother but not u and only want to accompany his side of his family but not ur side of family and expcet u to do the same thing is like a hell to u. its like cutting everything or taking everything away from u suddenly after u had spent 20 plus years of ur life with them away. who will understand how i feel? no one. who i can tell? tell baobei? no way. tell mummy and daddy or da jie? no way. they will worry. i don want them to get worry but wat elas can i do but to bottle everything in my heart and not letting anyone know about it.using baby products which mother fren grandchildren used make mi feel tt my baby is like a rubbish collector. i know they want to save money. but not till the limit tt baby pram also got to use other pple use before one then give to my baby use.even the container which contain milk powder one also use other pple use before one. bed also high chair also. is it like rubbish collector. other pple give birth i also give birth. other pplr baby can have brand new things, why cant my baby have too. just cas his or her mummy is useless and cannot get a job to earn money and provide him or her with good stuff and life. i am a useless mum.

this is how i felt

first few month of marriage suppose to be wonderful and sweet. this doesn't apply to my wedding at all, i don't feel sweet and wonderful at all in fact i felt lonely and and like a bird which is lock in the cage. no where i can go but staying at home "RESTING" and doing all the housework. baobei and mother expect mi to do all housework and go no where but staying at home. i know they worry for mi but all i want is to be like last time. where i go no one control. i felt tt i am like a pet got to wait for baobei free then i get the chance to go out. baobei busy all day all time 24hr a day 7 days a week 4 week a month. all he do was to work come home accompany his mother and do his homework and then sleep. hardly ask mi what i have done the whole day and what i really want to do. he only knows how to accompany his family. ask him to go over to my side for the family together with mi. he always push away or find excuse not to go. since tt day we got marry till now he have not gone home with mi to see my family or spent time with my family. spenting time with my family is a waste of time to him. only spenting time with his family is not waste of time. i miss my family so much. but who will understand. not even the person who i call baobei knows. all he know is tt i marry over to his family and i cannot go back to my family and be with them. some time i really think this marry is not want i really want.we get marry cas i have a baby in mi we are force to get marry. how stupid i am to believe that i will feel happy when i get married.now i kown why so many people in singapore don want to get marry and tie down. cas marrying in to a family who husband only listen to his mother but not u and only want to accompany his side of his family but not ur side of family and expcet u to do the same thing is like a hell to u. its like cutting everything or taking everything away from u suddenly after u had spent 20 plus years of ur life with them away. who will understand how i feel? no one. who i can tell? tell baobei? no way. tell mummy and daddy or da jie? no way. they will worry. i don want them to get worry but wat elas can i do but to bottle everything in my heart and not letting anyone know about it.using baby products which mother fren grandchildren used make mi feel tt my baby is like a rubbish collector. i know they want to save money. but not till the limit tt baby pram also got to use other pple use before one then give to my baby use.even the container which contain milk powder one also use other pple use before one. bed also high chair also. is it like rubbish collector. other pple give birth i also give birth. other pplr baby can have brand new things, why cant my baby have too. just cas his or her mummy is useless and cannot get a job to earn money and provide

Marriage life....

Marriage supposed to be happy everyafter. But seemed like this doesnt happen to everybody. Suddenly i felt a bit lost, all i know is to go wrk, den go sch, come back do assignment. I got the urge to quit sch, but i already paid so much, i cant afford to throw the money awy, thus i got study hard. Then every night study til so late, i already really very tired.

I always thought that marriage life is very sweet, but i dont feel it this way. I have no idea is because of this society or what. There is so many things to worry about.

Baobei having a baby inside is not easy, thus i cant expect too much from her also. The most worrying matter is i afraid that she cannot communicate well with my mum. Both of them have their own expectation. All i can do is to do it for them.

Today is public holiday, i went to wrk, my sister went to chalet, baobei go home, my mum was alone at home, wanted to tidy house but no one at home. In the end she will be planning to go out also. Maybe after some time, i shall stop going back to office on weekend le... Hoped to get my degree faster and HOPE FOR PROMOTION (which i dun tink so).

I love this family so much that i willing to sacrified everything for it.....

12 day after marry

today is the 12th day after our wedding.at first i was still not use to the married life as i am not living with my family anymore.this few day my hubby has been working da and night.after work come back he do his homework.saying that accompany mi but he is doing his work leaving mi alone to watch tv behind him.i got fired and everyday alone at home doing nothing till my mother in law come back. i a bit scare of her as she cook alot of food and all are oily and salty food.last time if i don hav baby i will eat more.but cas of baby i cannot eat now.hubby say that he will tell my mother in law.but i scare that she will get angry.i think she expect mi to do all the housework and cook every meal.all this make mi feel very tiring. but my hubby don understand. still want mi to go look for job.i know he want mi to work as he scare that he might not be able to support this family.i try calling alot of company but every one say don want to hire a woman with baby. i feel so sad and disappointed.

we are getting marry!!!!

after a long time, we finally get marry le. quite a few busy week. many thing to do and money going out like drinking water. many thing happend. happy and sad. but anyway i love my hubby forever and willing to do anything for him.soon we will have a new member to the family le.even though is very xin ku. i love u hubby. muackz muackz

Studies...

Bao bei and me starting our studies soon.

She be taking PT class for her CAT starting 6 jul and me starting 21 july. My classes will be tues, thurs and friday... she only got classes on tues...

3 days i already occupied, plus cfm got 1 or 2 days got to OT as routine, left 2 days to meet baobei, i cant imagine wad will happen to her.. Perhaps she got not enough security, but all my time is occupied by family, her, studies and work, definitely wun get involved into other ppl... sometime i got to reject my fren for gathering cuz accompany baobei,scare she angry and blah blah blah... haiz...

I dun dare to see wad will happen during our studies, but lucky my studies only 1 year... got to complete with flying colours~~ Ti Gong bo bi bo bi~

Life went on...

These few months there is a lot of things happened. Mostly is unhappy matter.

Got quite a number of good and bad things coming up...
I will be taking IPT soon before my birthday as i need to empty all my slot of next one year.
Why i take IPT? Cuz i have registered to go for further studies which will be distant learning starting july.
My brother finally getting married this year...

These events occupied a lot for my year 2009/2010. Hoped there is not more sadness in us....

feeling a bit lost and empty.

on tuesady 24th of march, i woke up and received a call for baobei telling me that he had to go back to malaysia asap as his grandma had just passed away. i was shock upon knowing this. wondering whether can i go back malaysia with baobei to pay gramdma a last respect. but mummy daddy don't allow me to go back with him because they say to many days le. sian. like this i cannot go back le.

so i pack my bag for my swim and went to meet baobei.he left singapore at 2 plus in the afternoon. leaving me behind lost and empty. don't know what i suppose to do. not in the mood of doing anything and everything. can't sleep at night. turn the string till my finger bleed also can't sleep.missed baobei so much. but i know i cannot blame him for leaving mi behind. because no one want this kind of thing to happen.

i understand how it feel to lost someone who you loved so much. baobei must be very heart broken and sad. i feel sad to see him like this. all i can do is to be by his side and support him whenever he needs mi. even though i kown i might be a trouble maker. but i will try my best.. baobei i miss you so much..

Situation.....

Due to my failure in my IPPT, i being enrolled into RT(Remedial Training). It certainly sucks... Tues, Thurs and Sun training... Im so sian...

Baobei found a job as admin exec, so happy for her. She have stepped out into the society for the first time. Hoped she can excel in her career and to do the best whatever she can. Hoped her effort will be recognised..

my first step(first day of work)

today was my first day of work. last night i was still having fear of going to work. i was so scare that whatever i eat, i feel like vomiting it out.da jie try to make me eat something and she went to buy the foss wrap in the seaweed.i eat some of it and feel much better. when to bed at 12am.woke up at 6am, worried that i will be late for work.took the 6.30am bus and reach work place at 7.30am!way too early for work le.so i sat at the bus stop and had my breakfast.till 8.07am then i enter the office.

we got to clean our table everyday morning when we report to work.i sat at the front whereby once u open the door you are able to see me.i sat there and waited for my boss to come.

boss came and call me in to his room and explain the company internal control and system and told me who is who.then he show me who will be guiding and coaching me for the the next 3 months.

working there is quite stressful.you can only hear phone ringing, people typing and people walking up and down,in and out.i found out that they really report on the dot.8.30am start work they report on the dot.6pm off work they really 6pm sharp go off.

i left office at 6.15pm.took bus 100, there are alot of people on the bus.thought that after i change bus 45 got place to seat.end up standing all the way home.so tiring. well this is my first day off work.tomorrow will be another new day.who know what will happen?

Valentine Day 2009

14 Feb 09 is our 3rd Valentine day celebrated together as well as our 3.5 years together. I bought a pair of rabbit miffy set and a box of chocolate for baobei. I decided not to get rose/flower for baobei cuz she dunno how to take care of flower. I dun want to murder innocent flower. haha. Joking.

I cooked breakfast for baobei. Scrambled cheese egg, cheese french toast and salmon. After lunch, we went to marina square to watch "Wedding Game". It was more nicer than "Love matters" and better than what i expected. But its kinda wierd to watch christopher lee and fann wong on cinema screen while i always see them on tv at home. After that we go to suntec walk around. I played a game of archery, kinda bad aiming. We went to Shin Kushiya for dinner. As there wasnt any valentine day set menu, we ordered ala carte instead. I ordered Oyaki don, cold soba, sashimi set, yakitori set. Spent about 100++ while other tables beside me only eat less than 80. Perhaps im a very big eater.. As usual, dunno is we suay or wad. Their cashier POS was down, same as last year when we had our dinner at "Bungolow"(Closed down already). Waited for quite some time before we left the place.

Nowhere to go, we went to my home as my house got guest and relative around for gathering.. A ordinary valentine day for us, but at least a happy one. =)

CNY 2009

Chinese new year coming soon. Once again, i going back to malaysia without baobei due to her parents.
Well, in order to have a good luck for the new year. There is a lot of things i need to do.
1) Clear all my bills (Not nice to owe ppl money over the new year)
2) Buy CNY goodies (I tink i got bought some already, egg roll and almond cookies)
3) Plan to go where for Pai Nian (To take more ang bao)
4) Pack my new year clothes and to pair up my tops and bottoms.
5) Buy some accessories (Wanted to buy small gold chain, but maybe got to give up the idea, wallet got a lobang liao)

I wondered anyone got owe me money... Need to collect back so they can have a better luck.. See i so good. considerate for other ppl... (Hoped i not lying to myself). haha...

Happy new year to all!!!!!!!

3 tiring and enjoyable day of my life

On the 31st dec, the last day of 2008. As usual, bao bei and i got to work. bao bei end work at 3pm just the same time as mi. I meet bao bei at NUH because er gu gu was admitted to hospital so we went down to pay her a visit. After that we took a taxi home to bath and rest.After that we went to meet joanne at orchard to look for my birthday cake. We walk to taka to look for my birthday cake.And we grab some finger food as we are very hungry but end up we eating alot and we were so full that we have no more space for dinner later on. We shop around while waiting for da jie and uncle to come and meet us as they went in to Malaysia to buy da jie story book. I ask uncle to help mi buy my Singapore true ghost stories book 17 and 18. But he only manage to buy book 17. I am happy enough. So when they finally reach.We went to heeren de N.Y.D.C to have our dinner. We wanted to sit in at the open space but the weather at that moment was very warm. So we went walking up to level 5 to take a look.As we went up to level 2, we passed by balcony and we wonder whether what uncle wearing can go in ant. Just nice a waiter who just came back from toilet passed by.And bao bei stop him and say "Excuse me, this kind of out fit can go in?", we all laugh as uncle is wearing a t-shirt with a big hole on his right shoulder and a short and slipper. finally we decided to have our dinner at the air-condition area. We order our dinner and bought a orea cheese cake from there. We slowly eat our dinner till 10.30pm. Then we went to orchard de happy world to sing. we started to sing at 11pm and sing till 3am. we were so high. we sing and dance like crazy while waiting for ah gan to join us after work. then we cut cake. we could not finish the cake as we all are very full.After that we went balcony to drink till 5am then we went home.

On the first day of new year,Me and Bao bei sleep till 12pm then meet at 1pm at his home MRT as we meeting his family side the cousin for lunch at plaza sing de Ajisen. After the lunch we went to arcard to play till 4pm. Then we went to play bowling at ah hood road. we paly till 7 plus till 8pm. Then went to eat dinner and went home. we had alot of fun and talk alot during dinner. I went to bao bei house to bath. we took taxi home and play mahjong till 2am plus. then bao bei and uncle went home.

On the second day of new year which is my birthday. So happy. morning i went breakfast with mummy and da jie then after that bao bei meet us at the market and accompany mi home and bath and we went to orchard to have our lunch at whisk the place where i work. after that we went shopping till 7.30pm then we went seargoon center to have dinner, this dinner very expensive. it cost mi $141.89. after that we went amk hub to play board game till 11plus then all went home.

It was very tiring for mi and bao bei. we spent alot of money and i guess we put on alot of weight too. must go exercise le.

Bao bei thanks for giving mi a wonderful 20th brithday celebration. love u and miss u always.muackz.