this is how i felt after that night dinner.

On the 14th of every month is our anniversary. every anniversary we spent together by having a good and nice meal. But this month is the worst i ever had. this is how it goes.

bao bei called mi in the morning tell mi that he is taking MC as he is not feeling well, have slight fever.early in the morning, i did not went for accounting class as i want to spent time studying for my Managing People System (MPS). reach school at 8am. nope of them are there. so i carry on studying by myself and not long caroline came. we had breakfast together and carry on studying. later crystal aaron and mother came. soon we went to take our CA1 for MPS. we were so nervous and my stomach is giving mi alot of problem. went in to take our CA1. we thought that other classes will score well. but in the end, they just write their name class date and index no. then sleep le. at least i am better i secure a 15 marks. i did the MCQ and gave the 3 structure question a try. i wrote what ever thing i can remember le. then hand in the paper. we got very strong feeling that we will not do well in the CA1 for MPS. i feel so sad. this was the first blow of the day.

after that me carmen da jie and aaron walk to simei mrt to take train or bus. mother took bus no 5 home. then we took a train. i meet bao bei at city hall mrt. when i reach there i called bao bei. and was quite angry that he is still at home. so never mind i went walking arround by myself while he make his way down. when he reach city hall mrt. i expect him to give mi a hug or a kiss but in stead he give mi a black face. he say i stupid as i never bring the clothes out to change as we going dinner later at night with his mother. Anniversary suppose to be 2 person spend together de. end up spending with one big group. haiz. i was very angry when he say mi stupid. i am in a very bad mood le and he is late and still say mi stupid. i think that day is a very sad day. bao bei keep saying sorry from the mrt station to the "make a bear" shop where i will be having my interview at 3pm. we were there early. so i storm away from the shop. and sat outside the arcade there. bao bei made mi so angry and made mi cry on our anniversary. i have no mood to eat for the whole day.

not long after, we stop quarreling and we went for the interview. it was such a disappointed and angry interview. we were given5 min to dress up a bear or a soft toy which we have been eyeing very long. i was the first to reach the station, i was about to grab the cow when another girl push mi aside and took the cow away. i was angry. but no choice. i left with a puppy dog.so i grab it and start to dress it with a boxer and a jean and t-shirt and sweater with a hat and a sun glass and a bag and a skit board. it look rather cool but in the end i was not choosen to carry on with the next interview so i left. this was the second blow of the day.

then bao bei and mi went to get some stuff to bite. we passed by SAKAE SUSHI and saw that they are hiring part timers. so we went to ask about it. got the form, filled up the form and i went for the interview. it was quite good and i am hired by them and i will be starting work on friday at fu nan( 5pm to 10.30pm). i got to go take the injection on thursday. before i start working there.

after the interview we went back to my house as i want to bath. so "lucky" strawberry season come. sian. after i finish bathing. bao bei and mi took bus back to his house. his mother is waiting for us. she keep on rushing us asking us to hurry up when we are still very early for the dinner.so we sat at the living room and start chatting about buying house. i don't mind staying with bao bei mother.

we took a taxi to the place. this is where my worst nightmare begin.we went parying then got seated down. we share a table with a family of 5. they look familiar to mi i think they stay near or in amk area. her elder daughter is the same age as mi but not studying le her bf also. what made mi so sad and heart broken is that bao bei mother compare mi with her. she look slim and pretty but i look ugly and fat. bao bei mother did not say or spell it out clearly but it is very obvious than she is saying mi. i type a sms showing to bao bei that i don't want to stay any more longer. he did nothing but just shake his head.

when we are about to board the taxi i told him not to tell his mother about it. as i know this will lead to quarrel between him and his mother. i will feel guity if they quarrel. so i keep it to myself and when mummy they all come back home after visiting yi mummy they found out that i am not myself. so they ask mi what happend and i told them what happened. as i say i cannot hold back my tears so i cried. then i went to bed. feeling very xin ku as i am losing blood and i feel very tired but cannot sleep. turning left and right till 3 plus in the morning then i cred myself to bed. then wake up at 6am the go school. both eyes swollen like gold fish. feeling very terrible. all i ask for is to have a dinner and go watch a movie just 2 of us also very hard to come true. so disappointed this time.. sob..

First time to Jurong Bird Park with baobei

My mum's friend got free ticket to Jurong Bird Park due to their company family day. So i asked baobei along. Wanted to ask her parents or sibling to come but all either not free or working, therefore i ended up called ah sum and jason along.
On that day, we supposed to meet them 10.30am at Jurong East MRT but we were late cuz we eat breakfast and withdraw money at AMK hub. We went to take shuttle bus there from opp popular bookstore. Upon reaching there, i went to get the goodie bag and going to bird park. Suddenly felt so childhood thingy, its been quite a few years since i was here. Went around see birds... got flamingo, swan, vulcans and many more. I asked baobei to take a picture with me and pelicans, she dunno how to use my camera, den the bird use its peak and poke me(or bite me). Should have taken this picture down, but baobei still dunno hw to use camera. zzz.... wasted... We walked around the bird park and we went to see the birdie and buddies show, den to fuji hawk training session. And walked to the picnic area to take KFC for lunch. Was hungry already. zzz... Before we go off the bird park, the last place which is PENGUIN..... Penguin reminds me of the ferry i took when i book in to Tekong last time and the ferry we took to batam. The penguin is so cute lor. haha. They are so carefree...
After touring around, we took shuttle bus to Jurong East mrt and went to shop at suntec/marina square as well as dinner over there. We went home around 8pm like that...

Bowling

Yesterday after work, baobei come to my house do project. Almost the whole project is i do for her, hopefully she can do well for it. She told me that yi mummy want to go for bowling game, that time we asked her to go for bowling but she wasn't free, so this time round she ask us to go for bowling. KY drove over to my house here to fetch baobei and me to go NS Hometeam there for bowling. We went for dinner before meeting him, as well as to pay my bill at the AXS machine. I only then realised that i didnt bring my socks and faster go home take my socks and went downstair wait for him. He was late and we faster got onto the car and went there. weisin supposed to come but i think he got some problems and he didnt come in the end.
When we reached there, the rest of them still having dinner while we walked to the bowling centre and take our lane. We changed into the bowling shoe and wait for them. Soon after, they reached already, uncle and si yi start off with a game first for warm up. after that we join in for the game. Quite amazingly, the 2nd game i got the highest score in my life which is 112... lolx. my skill sux... terrible... but 3rd game cheryl got 130++... dunno how come, usually she cannot even got more than 70... she suddenly so enthuastic and wanted to play 4th game when most of us tired already. But she totally cannot make it during the last game -.-" guess that game she just "taiko" get so much points only.
We finish playing the game around 1.30am and we went home. Si yi send me home and she drove off. So tired after that day. But next month i got a bowling competition coming up for my company one... lol. but suddenly i feel that bowling is quite fun =D haha..

From the bottom of my heart

Here I'm sitting here updating this blog,while he is busy at his work place. now I am feeling down, low and empty. Feeling so useless for the first time in my 18 years of life. Today in the morning i went to school to have my lesson as usual. IAC which most of us think that we are in the wrong course. After that carmen, caroline, da jie and me went to find Mr Hari. He was talking to Shu shu(about his family matter). after that Hari told me that those malay girls in my class think that I never mark their attandance when they come for lesson. I am so pissed off by them. we had lunch with Mr hari and then I went down to meet Joanne. Actually have to accompany her go down to wheelock place to remove her dark eye circle but in the end never go because she do her schedule till pass the appointment time. So she accompany me take 166 back to Amk Hub then she went to visit Jeniffer and i went back home. when i was waiting for joanne, i saw two MayFlower secondary student walking in to pepper lunch for interview. then i felt that i am so useless. since the day i quit pepper lunch. it have been 1 month le and i still jobless. i feel so sad as i think that now secondary school having holiday and student are looking for job. I feel that i don't stand much chance to get a job.
when I reached home Da jie is at home. Using her laptop as usual. Actually carmen and da jie wanted to come to the Mac opposite my house to study. But in the end they never come.so i stay at home do my home work.
Bao bei and me had a quarrel just now about a e-mail send to mi by one of my guy friend.I know he is very angry with me because I promise bao bei not to contact him.But i really can't find anyone to talk to when i feeling sad or when i quarrel with bao bei.He is the only one who willing to listen to me. But bao bei don't like him. I have no choice but to erase his number from my phone and block him from MSN. I feel so sad as it is like losing one close friend.
after that da jie and me went to the market to buy ah ma's birthday present as she is celebrating her 81th birthday later on. we cannot buy too cheap or too expensive. if not will give other people bad impress.
da jie spent 60 plus and i spent 42. after paying that i felt that my account is very empty. NO income at all.feeling useless and sad again. xiao mei also went to the same shop to buy ah ma present. they spent 68. after that we went home and xiao mei together with kay yong went to pick mummy and daddy home. while me and da jie stay at home do our stuff. I felt stress too as i have 2 CA1 and 1 mock test to do on this coming tuesday. My IAC(test on trading profit & loss account and balance sheet), BCM(listening compre) and MPS(chapter 1 & 2).
bao bei work till 12.30am then go home. miss him so much.

New lappy

Baobei and me went to plaza singapura cuz i want to buy groceries to cook spagetti for baobei. At there, we saw laptop clearance sales and we actually thinking of taking this opportunity to ask her dad/mum to get the laptop as she wanted to buy it long ago. So we went home together to talk to her dad about it.
Next day, her dad talk to her mum about getting the lappy. Her mum agreed as we decided to pay by 0% installment. At there, we thinking of which laptop to get as there is quite a few model. Ended up we decided to take the cheapest as they didnt need a high spec for their school work. Anyway there isnt any system with WinXP cuz now all vista already. Vista got so many problems. But no choice. The laptop we got is installed with Vista Hm Basic, the worst of all. Somemore the lappy only 512MB RAM, super lag... That indian guy took out the laptop to show us, we wanted to setup and pay den go, but he wipe the monitor for us til getting worst, so i asked them to take out another set for us. But this another set got no Operating system(with seagate drive -.-). Finally they took out their last set, with hitachi drive. We do the setting up and go to cashier for payment.
Supposed we going to pay with my credit card, but my credit card limit is not enough for the installment plan, therefore her mum no choice but to pay in full. I feel so guilty, i should have paid first. Baobei was so happy til she keep hugging her laptop as we walk around. After that, we take a break at Carls Jr. Then we went to exchange for lucky draw coupon. And we went for my friend's wedding while her mum bring her laptop home.
Although its not a very high end model, but hoped that this laptop can help her in her school work. Miss her so much.

Our first oversea trip

On 20 Oct (SAT), we meet up at harbour front centre with her daddy, mummy, diana, cheryl, ky and wee sing around 7.45am. Diana wake me up early in the morning (around 5.45am), she asked me not to be late, but they all late.... wee sing and me went to mac for breakfast while waiting for them to reach. We gathered and get our tickets for check in. We boarded onto the ferry and we are on our trip to batam.
On the ferry, cheryl and ky keep taking pictures of themselves, wee sing is boring behind us, mummy and daddy watching shrek3(pirated dvd cuz the subtitle alot of mistakes), diana hiberating also. baobei looking at scenary while i dunno what i wanted to do. we reach batam around 10.45am singapore time. batam is slower than singapore time about 1hr.
We meet up with the tourist guide and took off from the batam jetty to the first destination. We arrived at a keropok shop, and met Mr Pinky (another tour guide who wear pink). Everyone bought a lot of keropok, i only bought 2 packets and baobei bought a green pea keropok. Later on, we went to Polo shop(that branded shirt with the horse logo). All the stuffs there doesnt really very cheap, probably only cheaper by $10 -20 SGD. We didnt buy anything from there. So we went to another keropok shop, and another polo shop. Didnt really buy much le.
Finally, we going for our seafood lunch! There is sambal kang kong, fried calamari, fried prawn, gong gong, sweet and sour fish, soup, chilli crab and we ordered the dunno-what-it-called-urine-prawn. we ate it in a rush as the other table had already finish their meal.
After that we went to a shopping mall for a walk.then the tour guide brought us to message.cheryl, ky, wee sing and diana choose the mattress bed while bao bei, me, uncle and aunty choose the bed higher one( more high class). we got to wash our feet before we get our message. we got to change in to the short that they gave us. then they start giving us our message. it was quite painful but comfortable.haha. after that we went shopping again at one of their biggest shopping mall.diana bought some watches and i bought my friend's wedding gift. I also changed some cash cuz not enough after paying for the massage. Wanted to buy that adidas shirt cuz its on sales, but not enough cash so didnt buy. After everything, we went on to another shopping mall, Megamall.
We put our stuffs at the main office(good service which singapore dun have). We went to eat A & W!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We bought a lot of curly fries and root beer float, we all like it very much. While we eating, baobei and me go toilet. Beside the toilet, there is a shop where baobei saw her fav cow slipper. So while she go toilet, i go in check out the cow slipper. Baobei come out and she wanted that slipper, so i bought it for her. When we went back, they saw the cow slipper that baobei take out and play, all of them shakes their head =D . Then we went around and shop. Til we went to time zone arcade, we keep playing the basketball game, spider game, and some other games til times up and we need to collect our stuff.then we went back to A&W, while aunty, uncle and bao bei rest their feet, ky, cheryl diana went to bread talk to buy aunty her birthday cake. me and wee sing went to buy wee song pouch.
When everyones back, they surprised auntie with the birthday cake. The staffs there also was surprised (or rather shocked cuz we sing birthday song so loud). We finished up the cake, cleared the place and we went to ferry to check in back to singapore. We checked in very early(around 9.30pm) and we wait for 1 hr before the last ferry come. We went onto ferry and here we going back to singapore. When we reaching singapore, Police coast guard come onto ferry and spot check. Becuz of it, we all late for the last train and we have to took a cab home. we really enjoy this trip and hope to go for more in the future.

Bao Bei, i am really sorry about it.

Yesterday on the 3rd of oct, was the worst day of my life. I completely don't know what i am thinking about and what i am doing. In the morning, once I wake up. I decided not to work in pepper lunch anymore as i thought that xiao mei there then admin job is a better job but since that day after the interview till now I have not receive any news about it. I am so nevours about it and keep on asking xiao mei to help me to ask her boss.This is the First blow of the day.
The second blow of the day was that my result of my 1st sem is out. Result wasn't very good. I am very sad and disappointed with myself. I felt that I had disappointed my parents and Bao Bei the most.
Around afternoon time, I went down to wee sing stall to sell my nokia 5300. Actually I don't wish to sell it but daddy keep on saying that the market price for this phone is dropping very fast and he want me to sell is as soon as possible. So I leave my 5300 at wee sing's shop. When I was about to walk to the MRT station, wee sing called and tell me that he sold the phone already and i can go and collect the money already. So I walked back to his shop and took $180. Then i went to bank in to my account.
After that I took a train down to Bishan and return my uniform, lucky ah cai off, so i don't have to see him. Then I took a bus down to Clarky Quay and return my uniform to joanne. Joanne, ah Gan and jennifer have lunch together with me.We chit chat for a while then I realise that ah gan change alot after he broke up with xiao mei.After that ah gan, jennifer and me walk to Fu Nan IT Mall. Then I go and meet Bao bei at AMK Hub for dinner. Actually, I don't really feel like eating but I know that if I don't eat, Bao Bei also will not eat. I don't want him to get hungry because I don't want to have my dinner.
After having our dinner, we passed by a shop, selling PSP. This is the third blow of the day. Bao bei and I spent $390 on a PSP. I felt bad when Bao Bei told me that we bought an Exported set which don't really cost $390. I want to tell Bao Bei that I am really sorry that I bought it in a rush. I am very stupid.
After that, we meet my dad and we went to wee sing's shop again. This is the fourth blow of the day. Daddy say that we can drop the idea of signing a new line. Then he bought me a brand new phone for $400. I paid daddy only $50. But my heart really feel the pain. I keep asking Daddy its is ok to buy this phone, he keep saying that it is ok. But I can really tell that something is not right.
I felt that I am really useless and stupid. I can't score well in my studies and I tent to trust people very easily. How I wish that I can be more smarter. I really feel the pain. Sob Sob.....